From Very Best to Very Worst
May 20th, 2007From Very Best To Very Worst
INTRO:
A. They say, “Everyone loves a mystery.” I am not sure who “they” are, nor am I sure that “everyone loves a mystery.” Although I am quite sure that some mysteries are quite frustrating to everyone especially if they are personally involved, and even more so if the mystery involves their children. I am also quite sure that mysteries involving our children are loved at all, but rather feared. Especially is this true when the mystery involves why spiritually minded parents rear children who do not share their parents’ spiritual fervor. How does this happen?
B. From the very best to the very worst; that is, from godly parents to ungodly children. “How does this happen?”
1. This discouraging conundrum is seen several times in the Bible where a very good and godly parent raises a very evil and devilish child.
2. Or as happens more often with us today, how could godly parents have spiritually indifferent children? Our kids might be good people, but not spiritually minded people?
3. Could I suggest that there is a difference between being a good person and a good parent? Maybe that is part of the problem and part of the solution.
C. The Bible does not specifically explain how this always happens. That makes this conundrum, this mystery, even more baffling…and frightening. Could this happen to any of us? Yes.
D. Two (Too) Easy Reactions:
1. Become Too Judgmental of Others.
a. We cannot stand in judgment of all parents whose children do not follow the Lord. Each child has free will – a gift from the Lord. Even God’s children, Adam and Eve, choose unwisely. Scriptures never say whether they repented.
b. Sometimes parents are not to blame.
2. Become Too Blind to Ourselves.
a. Although each child has free will, each child can be influenced by their parents (for good or bad) – otherwise God would not give instructions to parents:
· Ephesians 6:4 NASB Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
b. Sometimes parents are (partly) to blame:
· 1 Samuel 3:13 NASB “For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.
· This doesn’t remove personal responsibility from the children. Ultimately we all are individually responsible.
· Maybe some parents need to repent to their God and to their children.
E. Let’s look specifically at just one family. Not knowing the exact dates of some of these events, I do not know if Manasseh himself witnessed all of these, or only heard about them later from his father Hezekiah or some other source. Nevertheless, this family serves as a good case study.
1. One of the very best is Hezekiah (2 Kgs.18:3-6).
2. His son, Manasseh, is sadly one of the very worst (2 Kgs.21:2-9)
F. As parents we can either frustratingly throw up our hands in confusion, or look for clues as to how such a godly man could produce such an ungodly son. We need to look at Hezekiah’s life – and our own. Remember, nothing occurs in isolation. What might have happened in Hezekiah’s life that started Manasseh down his horrific road? You kids also have to look at yourselves. Are you willing to allow your own parent’s mistakes to lead you away from the Lord?
BODY:
I. Hezekiah’s Righteousness?
· 2 Chronicles 31:20-21 NASB (20) Thus Hezekiah did throughout all Judah; and he did what was good, right and true before the LORD his God. (21) Every work which he began in the service of the house of God in law and in commandment, seeking his God, he did with all his heart and prospered.
A. Yes, that is right. Backdoor, side-window, through the roof thinking teaching us that Hezekiah’s righteousness could have led to Manasseh’s unrighteousness. This isn’t an excuse or reason to be less godly on the part of the parents. But it is an important lesson to be learned and applied.
· Righteousness Can Lead to Rebellion
· Righteousness Can Lead to Neglect
B. Righteousness Can Lead to Rebellion by the Child
1. Have you ever noticed how some children want to do and be the exact opposite of their parents? They are called “The Strong Will Child.” Their “independence” can be so driven as to drive them straight to hell! Why and how does this happen?
a. Could such an independent streak be innate? Yes. We all inherit traits from our parents, whether good or bad. So before you tear out your hair, look in the mirror.
b. Could this inborn independence lead to intentional rebellion? Yes. If the rebellion is done to spite us parents, we need to examine our own lives to see if we could have caused such a damning attitude (Lk.17:2).
2. If the child’s “independence” is part of their nature, then do we have any hope? Yes.
a. Teach them to believe based upon the evidence God gave for the truth; that way they believe, but not because you do.
b. Encourage them to study and challenge what you believe, but as the parent channel the study productively.
c. After all, this should be done any way, to any child. Do our children know why we believe what we believe? Do they know why we have chosen the righteous path? Have we shared with them our own struggles that led to us following God?
3. How often have people joked about PK’s – Preacher’s Kids (and Elders Kids) – being wild? Why? As a preacher, I know there are several reasons. One of which is the “righteousness” of the Preacher.
· Unrealistic Expectations on the Child by the Parents
· Unfair Expectations on the Child by the Congregation
a. As godly parents, all of us, not just preachers, elders and deacons, we must not put a false righteousness upon our children. Righteousness must be from the inside-out, not the other way around. We must make sure that we do not make rules that God has not made that might suffocate our children.
b. Have you ever spoken to a PK who was unfaithful and asked them why? I have. I asked specifically if their current life-style was because their father was a preacher. The sad answer was yes.
C. Righteousness Can Lead to Neglect by the Parent
1. Again, let’s talk about PK’s – Preacher’s Kids – being wild. Another angle is:
· Unfair Expectations on the Parent by the Congregation. Friday night is my “Family Night.” I highly recommend such a practice.
· Unrealistic Expectations on the Parent by the Parent – trying to save the world.
D. Righteousness Can Morph Into:
· Self-Righteousness
· Acting Righteous
E. While a parent’s righteousness can lead to rebellion and neglect, it is a parent’s righteousness that can also lead to salvation.
II. Hezekiah’s Riches?
· 2 Chronicles 32:27-31 NASB (27) Now Hezekiah had immense riches and honor; and he made for himself treasuries for silver, gold, precious stones, spices, shields and all kinds of valuable articles, (28) storehouses also for the produce of grain, wine and oil, pens for all kinds of cattle and sheepfolds for the flocks. (29) He made cities for himself and acquired flocks and herds in abundance, for God had given him very great wealth. (30) It was Hezekiah who stopped the upper outlet of the waters of Gihon and directed them to the west side of the city of David. And Hezekiah prospered in all that he did. (31) Even in the matter of the envoys of the rulers of Babylon, who sent to him to inquire of the wonder that had happened in the land, God left him alone only to test him, that He might know all that was in his heart.
A. Riches themselves are neither bad nor evil, or else God would not have used them as a reward to Hezekiah and others (i.e., Abraham). Before I go on, have you ever noticed how obligatory it is for Christians to point out that there is nothing inherently wrong in being rich?
1. God’s blessings, at best, can lead to a greater trust and appreciation.
2. Or, at worst, we can take them for granted, or be filled with self-accomplishment.
B. Notice what questionable action that even the good king Hezekiah did – he “showed off” his possessions causing God to become displeased.
· 2 Kings 20:12-17 NASB At that time Berodach-baladan a son of Baladan, king of Babylon, sent letters and a present to Hezekiah, for he heard that Hezekiah had been sick. (13) Hezekiah listened to them, and showed them all his treasure house, the silver and the gold and the spices and the precious oil and the house of his armor and all that was found in his treasuries. There was nothing in his house nor in all his dominion that Hezekiah did not show them. (14) Then Isaiah the prophet came to King Hezekiah and said to him, “What did these men say, and from where have they come to you?” And Hezekiah said, “They have come from a far country, from Babylon.” (15) He said, “What have they seen in your house?” So Hezekiah answered, “They have seen all that is in my house; there is nothing among my treasuries that I have not shown them.” (16) Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Hear the word of the LORD. (17) ‘Behold, the days are coming when all that is in your house, and all that your fathers have laid up in store to this day will be carried to Babylon; nothing shall be left,’ says the LORD.
C. Hezekiah, I am sure, did not continue this spiritually dangerous thinking (2 Kg.20:15-17).
1. But could Hezekiah’s “riches and honor” (2 Chron.32:27) have adversely affected Manasseh? Could even this one time where Hezekiah “showed off” have had a detrimental effect on little eyes watching from the background?
D. How much emphasis do our children see in us and in our lives on physical things? How much importance does “getting ahead” have in our choices? How often have parents spoiled their children? (1 Tim. 6:10; 17-19)
· 1 Timothy 6:6-19 NASB But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. (7) For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. (8) If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. (9) But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. (10) For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs. (11) But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. (12) Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (13) I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who testified the good confession before Pontius Pilate, (14) that you keep the commandment without stain or reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, (15) which He will bring about at the proper time–He who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, (16) who alone possesses immortality and dwells in unapproachable light, whom no man has seen or can see. To Him be honor and eternal dominion! Amen. (17) Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. (18) Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, (19) storing up for themselves the treasure of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is life indeed.
III. Hezekiah’s Punishment?
A. God miraculously saved Hezekiah’s life from a deathly illness (2 Chron.32:24).
1. Amazingly, and uncharacteristically, Hezekiah gave no return for the benefit he received, because his heart was proud; therefore wrath came on him and on Judah and Jerusalem (2 Chron.32:25).
2. Thankfully, However, Hezekiah humbled the pride of his heart…(2 Chron.32:26).
3. But as the old saying goes, the same sun that melts butter hardens clay. Granted, Hezekiah’s illness happened before Manasseh was born, but the effects of sin, the consequences and punishments, have an effect that can be long lasting. While Hezekiah humbled himself, did Manasseh harden his heart?
IV. Hezekiah’s Pride?
· Hezekiah gave no return for the benefit he received, because his heard was proud (2 Chron.32:25).
A. Questions:
· How long did this pride last?
· Is this show of pride the only time Hezekiah’s ego got the best of him?
· Is it possible that Manasseh saw this pride in his father later on?
· Could Manasseh have inherited this weakness from his father, but did not learn to control it, or better yet, let God control it?
B. One of my greatest fears is that my children will be just like me…in my weaknesses. I see them imitating my failures, my sins…and I have to apologize to them that I set a bad example. Together, we pray that God will help us both. Yes, even the very best like Hezekiah is not perfect. And neither are any of us. Is it possible that Manasseh imitated his father’s bad example?
V. Hezekiah’s Age?
A. Hezekiah was 25 years old when he became king and reigned for 29 years, making him 54 when he died. Since Manasseh was age 12 when he became king, this makes Hezekiah 42 years old when Manasseh was born.
1. That’s late in life to have a child – even if not his only child (Zephaniah 1:1).
2. Hezekiah became mortally ill (2 Chron.32:24), but God allowed him to live another fifteen years. Had this not happened, Manasseh would never have been born.
3. What does all of this have to do with anything? Have you ever noticed that sometimes – no, not always – but sometimes when a child is born to parents late in life, they…spoil the child?
4. Especially can this be true with that child is their first and only child. Have you ever noticed that sometimes – and again, no, not always – parents who had been strict disciplinarians with their earlier children are…tired and too lenient with those children born late in life?
VI. Hezekiah’s Death?
A. Manasseh became king at age twelve because his father died. That is young to lose your father. Traumatizing situations can cause disturbing and damaging reactions in a child. Did he blame God? God prophesied Hezekiah’s death through Isaiah, who incidentally tradition says Manasseh had sawn in half. Again we ask…did Manasseh blame God? We don’t know, but what we do know is that oftentimes, when a loved one is suffering or dies, people – even their own children – often blame God. Did Manasseh?
Conclusion:
A. Walk a little plainer, Daddy,
Said a little boy so frail.
I’m following in your footsteps
And I don’t want to fail.
Sometimes your steps are very plain
Sometimes they are hard to see -
So walk a little plainer, Daddy,
For you are leading me.
I know that once you walked this way
Many years ago,
And what you did along the way,
I’d really like to know,
For sometimes when I am tempted,
I don’t know what to do -
So walk a little plainer, Daddy,
For I must follow you.
Someday when I’m grown up,
You are like I want to be,
Then I will have a little boy (or girl – PDH)
Who will want to follow me,
And I would want to lead him right
And help him to be true -
So walk a little plainer, Daddy,
For we must follow you.[1]
B. Looking back, which one of these adversely affected Manasseh? None of us know for sure— but never doubt the power of even just one event in a child’s life. Even one event can shape our lives – and our children’s lives. Amazingly, one event can be that “defining moment” in our relationship with our child, and their relationship with God. Therefore, when our children witness us sin – and they will – we need to do our best to overcome the damage, not only in our lives but in the lives of our children.
C. Could Manasseh’s disinterest in God have been a combination of any of the above? Yes, absolutely. Often the paths we choose are based upon cumulative events.
D. Could it have been something completely different? That’s a possibility too. In fact, in talking with parents of wayward children, they often had no idea what went wrong. But they often started noticing the change when their children became teenagers. That means that the pre-teen time is very dynamic.
E. Yes, the very best can have the very worst. But lest we parents become hopeless, notice one more fact from Manasseh’s life—he repented (2 Chron.33:10-13).
F. Pray God will put our unfaithful loved ones in whatever situation needed to turn them around, no matter how difficult that situation might be. Yes, that is a hard prayer. But eternity is forever. Tough love is still love. Never lose hope. Remember, the very worst became very good.
[1]Author unknown.
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