Winston Salem church of Christ

 

INTRO:

A. Question – How can we tell we have hurt someone, or been hurt? How can we tell when the hurt has been healed?

1. The answers are many, but one of the ways is very simply the way we talk to one another. One’s speech, both words and tone of voice, can be both subtle and blatant evidence that something is amiss within the relationship.

2. Throughout this lesson, notice emphasis on speech.

B. Question – Does restoring a relationship after being hurt sometimes take time and steps? Is there a process where trust needs to be rebuilt?

1. There answer is yes, and look for this in our lesson.

C. Text: Genesis 37-45

1. We are going to take An Emotional and Psychological Journey of

Being Hurt; Being Healed; Being Forgiven; Being Restored; Being Freed from Personal Prisons

BODY:

I. PROCESS OF BEING HURT

A. Joseph was a man who endured hurt and imprisonments.

· Pain from Dysfunctional Family – Genesis 37:4

o Favorite of Father

o Hated by Brothers

o Brothers Could Not Speak Kindly to Him [Remember this because this is important to our overall lesson.] The brothers hated Joseph because of the father’s favoritism. Hurting others (the brothers not speaking kindly to their brother) often comes after being hurt (Jacob playing favorites). Hurting others often is directed at those who have not hurt us.

· Thrown into a pit - Genesis 37:18-24

o By Brothers

· Sold into slavery – Genesis 37:25-28

o By Brothers

o To Midianites

· Sold again into Egyptian slavery – Genesis 39:1

o By Midianites

o To Potiphar

· Falsely Accused and Imprisoned – Genesis 39:11-18

o By Potiphar’s Wife

· Wrongly Imprisoned – Genesis 39:19-20

o By Potiphar

· Forgotten in Prison – Genesis 40:23

o By Cupbearer

B. I would like to suggest another imprisonment that Joseph suffered – an imprisonment of the heart. I realize some of what I am about to say is speculation, and I want to be upfront about that. However, I do believe my assessment is correct. Joseph needed to forgive his brothers, and he did. But full recovery took time. And part of the recovery time is the healing, not only of the heart, but of the relationships. There is a difference between me forgiving someone within my heart, and being ready and able to fully restore the relationship.

C. Joseph’s Timeline:

· 17 years old at time of being sold.

· 30 years old at time of being brought before Pharaoh.

· 13 years of degradation.

· 39 years old at time of revealing self to brothers.

· 22 years after being sold into slavery, Joseph reveals himself to his brothers.

D. The process of being hurt covered years as did the effects of being hurt, and the process of healing.

II. PROCESS OF HEALING

A. Is 22 years enough time to heal? Or is it enough time to grow bitter? The answer to both is yes. I would like to suggest two aspects of healing and forgiveness:

· Healing from Within – the heart.

· Healing from Without – the relationship.

B. When we look at the healing process of Joseph, we see something very natural – he became cautious and guarded around his brothers. When someone hurts us, we also become cautious and guarded around them. We don’t know if we can trust them again. We want to protect ourselves. Joseph disguising himself physically is something we all do emotionally when we are hesitant and afraid of revealing our true selves.

C. Sometimes the path of healing needs to be “worked out.” As a practical lesson, both sides need to remember to be patient, but not stagnant. Both sides need to be moving forward toward restoring the relationship. When Joseph’s brothers come and bow before Joseph, they did not recognize Joseph, but he did recognize them (42:7). We do not see Joseph revealing himself immediately to his brothers. He could have, but he did not. Why? Instead Joseph does “things” to his brothers. He puts them through a crucible, a purifying process.

D. Overview of “Things” Done to Brothers:

· Spoke harshly to them

· Accused them of spying

· Threw all ten in jail

· Keeps one in jail

· Tests their word

· Set them up by sneaking their money back into the bags

· Set them up by accusing them of stealing from him

E. What was Joseph doing? In looking at a quick list of what Joseph did to his brothers, and everything he put them through both physically, mentally and emotionally, it would be easy to quickly assume that he was exacting a little personal revenge. Remember there is a difference between what really is and what seems to be. There are three choices:

· Revenge – Punishments

· Restoring the Relationship – Tests

· Mixture of both

F. In my opinion, I do not think Joseph was exacting revenge on his brothers, although that would be “natural.” Maybe there was a mixture of both, but I basically believe that Joseph was working through this forgiveness process, which sometimes takes time. I believe this for two reasons:

· The behind the scenes emotional responses of Joseph.

· Joseph is a “type” of Christ (the anti-type).

G. So instead of revealing himself immediately to his brothers, and instead of exacting his revenge on them, we see Joseph examining his brothers, giving his brothers several tests.

· Each time they pass the test, some more successfully than others.

· Each test progresses to where something greater is required of Joseph’s brothers.

H. The question is, why the tests? I will give an opinion on this – Joseph had already forgiven his brothers in his heart but wanted proof that they had changed before he “revealed” himself to them again. To reveal oneself is to open up, to reestablish old relationships, to make ourselves vulnerable once more to being hurt again. Joseph was testing his brothers to see what was in their heart.

I. Organizing the tests: If you were organizing this lesson, you might divide the “tests” differently. Instead of dividing the tests into the visits, I have divided the tests into each separate test.

1. The word “test” is an appropriate word – Genesis 42:15 NASB by this you will be tested: by the life of Pharaoh, you shall not go from this place unless your youngest brother comes here!

2. Everything Joseph did was a test, he just didn’t tell his brothers was the real test was all about. I think Joseph was testing his brothers to see if they had changed. I also think Joseph was testing himself, to see if he was willing to reveal himself, to open himself up to his brothers.

3. When looking at the individual tests, notice how they are connected to the experiences of Joseph himself. I am sure there is a psychological lesson there as well. It just might be that we can never totally escape our past – it helped make us what we are today. We can choose however, how we will react to our past.

III. TEST #1 – GENESIS 42:6-7

A. The very first test begins with a simple question, but it was more than just a simple question. A question is often Joseph, in asking the question, asked in a harsh tone.

· Basically Joseph spoke to his brothers in a way similar to how his brothers treated him (Genesis 37:4).

B. Why?

· Because he was still hurting?

o Have you ever lashed out at someone because you were hurting?

· Because that his brothers spoke to him?

o Genesis 37:4 NASB His brothers … hated him and could not speak to him on friendly terms.

· To test the response of the brothers? Have they changed? This could be seen by Joseph treating them like they had treated others. Of course, the situation is not exactly the same since he is in a position of authority and power. I do not think he was testing their honesty, but rather their attitudes.

C. Test #1 consisted of speaking to his brothers the way they had spoken to him.

IV. TEST #2 – GENESIS 42:9-16

A. Joseph accuses them of being spies. I find this interesting and ironic because we could say that Joseph had spied on his brothers in his youth. Joseph was a spy for his father (Gen.37:2, 13-14). Since he was his father’s favorite son (Gen.37:4), it would be possible Jacob trusted Joseph more than his other sons.

B. Test #2 consisted of falsely accusing his brothers, reminiscent of Joseph being falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife.

V. TEST #3 – GENESIS 42:17

A. The next test we don’t see a response from the brothers, but we do see again the past of Joseph coming to the present. Joseph had been imprisoned by Potiphar (39:20). I do know from studying Joseph’s history that while he was wrongly imprisoned, he didn’t have an unfavorable response. He didn’t sit around feeling sorry for himself.

B. Test #3 consisted of putting his brothers what he went through.

· When Joseph describes his jail, he uses the word “dungeon” (40:15), which in Hebrew is the same word used to translate “pit” (37:24). Pit and dungeon are from the same Hebrew word.

VI. TEST #4 – GENESIS 42:18-24

A. The next test is a combination of promising to bring their youngest brother, Benjamin, and leaving Simeon behind in prison as a guarantee that they would return.

1. Why Simeon was chosen is unknown.

2. Poor Simeon was left in prison longer than needed, but not because of Joseph’s brothers. Jacob again showed favoritism (42:38)

B. What are important are the reactions of the brothers to this scenario and that of Joseph to their reaction. Unbeknownst to them, Joseph could hear and understand.

Genesis 42:21-24 NASB Then they said to one another, “Truly we are guilty concerning our brother, because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen; therefore this distress has come upon us.” (22) Reuben answered them, saying, “Did I not tell you, ‘Do not sin against the boy’; and you would not listen? Now comes the reckoning for his blood.” (23) They did not know, however, that Joseph understood, for there was an interpreter between them. (24) He turned away from them and wept. But when he returned to them and spoke to them, he took Simeon from them and bound him before their eyes.

1. This is the first real sign that the brothers had changed – or at least were changing.

D. Test #4 is very personal – Would they abandon their brother like they had abandoned Joseph?

VII. TEST #5 – GENESIS 42:25-35

A. Joseph ordered that all their money be returned to his brothers, hidden in their sacks.

B. Something which is included in the narrative, but we do not see whether or not Joseph ever knew is their initial reaction. 1. Genesis 42:28 – And their hearts sank, and they turned trembling to one another, saying, “What is this that God has done to us?”

2. Compare this attitude of blaming God with Joseph’s who had endured far worse:

Genesis 45:4-8 NASB Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into
Egypt. (5) “Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. (6) “For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. (7) “God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. (8) “Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the

land of
Egypt.

3. I do not know if there is an application, but if there is, maybe it is that people who hurt others hurt themselves by blaming others, having a bad attitude, etc.

C. This is apparently a test to examine their honesty – they had claimed to be honest men: We are all sons of one man; we are honest men, your servants are not spies” (42:11).

1. They return the money (43:11-23)

D. This test is also connected to the past: Genesis 37:26-28 NASB
Judah said to his brothers, “What profit is it for us to kill our brother and cover up his blood? (27) “Come and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh.” And his brothers listened to him. (28) Then some Midianite traders passed by, so they pulled him up and lifted Joseph out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty shekels of silver. Thus they brought Joseph into
Egypt.

E. Test #5 consisted of testing their honesty and whether they still valued money over their brother (Simeon).

VIII. TEST #4 Continued – GENESIS 42:18-20; 37; 43:9

A. Simeon is still imprisoned all this time – how long, I do not know.
Judah does say, “For we had not delayed, surely by now we could have returned twice” (43:10). What would the brothers do? Would they leave their brother in prison? Simeon’s father was willing to do that rather than risk his beloved Benjamin (42:38). Hmmm, I wonder if this was a test for Jacob, Joseph’s father. We do not know what was going on in Joseph’s mind. He didn’t know of his brothers’ lie saying he was dead. Did he ever wonder why his father didn’t come rescue him? I do not know – I do know such thoughts would be common for a child.

B. Two brothers respond:

1. Reuben (1^st Born) – Genesis 42:37 – Then Reuben spoke to his father, saying, “You may put my two sons to death if I do not bring him back to you; put him in my care, and I will return him to you.”

a. This was offered when the brothers first returned.

b. Reuben was the one who tried to protect Joseph earlier (37:21-22)

c. This “insurance policy” seems a little askew. Would Jacob actually want to kill his grandsons as punishment?

d. Jacob says no.

2.
Judah (will receive the rights of the 1^st Born) – Genesis 43:8-9 NASB Judah said to his father Israel, “Send the lad with me and we will arise and go, that we may live and not die, we as well as you and our little ones. (9) “I myself will be surety for him; you may hold me responsible for him. If I do not bring him back to you and set him before you, then let me bear the blame before you forever.

a. This was offered much later when the famine required that they return to
Egypt.

b.
Judah was the one who convinced his brothers to sell Joseph into slavery.

c. This “insurance policy” is more meaningful.

d. Jacob says yes.

C. Judah and his brothers return with Benjamin.

1. Genesis 43:11-14 NASB Then their father Israel said to them, “If it must be so, then do this: take some of the best products of the land in your bags, and carry down to the man as a present, a little balm and a little honey, aromatic gum and myrrh, pistachio nuts and almonds. (12) “Take double the money in your hand, and take back in your hand the money that was returned in the mouth of your sacks; perhaps it was a mistake. (13) “Take your brother also, and arise, return to the man; (14) and may God Almighty grant you compassion in the sight of the man, so that he will release to you your other brother and Benjamin. And as for me, if I am bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.”

D. The brothers have kept their word and
Judah made provisions to protect their youngest brother.

E. When Joseph sees his younger brother and speaks with him, he again leaves and weeps (43:30).

F. At this particular time, the brothers eat at Joseph’s house, and he feeds them from his own table.

G. Test #6 – Again, will they come back or will they abandon their brother.

IX. TEST #6 – GENESIS 44:1-5

A. Joseph once again places their money back into his brothers’ sacks, but this time he adds his own silver cup in Benjamin’s sack.

B. Brothers’ Reaction – Genesis 44:14-34

1. When reading this text, notice the change of attitude
Judah has to his brother who replaced Joseph as Jacob’s favovite.

(14) When Judah and his brothers came to Joseph’s house, he was still there, and they fell to the ground before him. (15) Joseph said to them, “What is this deed that you have done? Do you not know that such a man as I can indeed practice divination?” (16) So
Judah said, “What can we say to my lord? What can we speak? And how can we justify ourselves? God has found out the iniquity of your servants; behold, we are my lord’s slaves, both we and the one in whose possession the cup has been found.”·
Judah offers to become what he made Joseph to be.

(17) But he said, “Far be it from me to do this. The man in whose possession the cup has been found, he shall be my slave; but as for you, go up in peace to your father.” (18) Then
Judah approached him, and said, “Oh my lord, may your servant please speak a word in my lord’s ears, and do not be angry with your servant; for you are equal to Pharaoh. (19) “My lord asked his servants, saying, ‘Have you a father or a brother?’ (20) “We said to my lord, ‘We have an old father and a little child of his old age. Now his brother is dead, so he alone is left of his mother, and his father loves him.’ (21) “Then you said to your servants, ‘Bring him down to me that I may set my eyes on him.’ (22) “But we said to my lord, ‘The lad cannot leave his father, for if he should leave his father, his father would die.’ (23) “You said to your servants, however, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you will not see my face again.’ (24) “Thus it came about when we went up to your servant my father, we told him the words of my lord. (25) “Our father said, ‘Go back, buy us a little food.’ (26) “But we said, ‘We cannot go down. If our youngest brother is with us, then we will go down; for we cannot see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.’ (27) “Your servant my father said to us, ‘You know that my wife bore me two sons; (28) and the one went out from me, and I said, “Surely he is torn in pieces,” and I have not seen him since. (29) ‘If you take this one also from me, and harm befalls him, you will bring my gray hair down to Sheol in sorrow.’ (30) “Now, therefore, when I come to your servant my father, and the lad is not with us, since his life is bound up in the lad’s life, (31) when he sees that the lad is not with us, he will die. Thus your servants will bring the gray hair of your servant our father down to Sheol in sorrow. (32) “For your servant became surety for the lad to my father, saying, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, then let me bear the blame before my father forever.’ (33) “Now, therefore, please let your servant remain instead of the lad a slave to my lord, and let the lad go up with his brothers. (34) “For how shall I go up to my father if the lad is not with me–for fear that I see the evil that would overtake my father?”

C. The brothers and especially Judah, have made themselves ready to be part of Joseph’s life once again.

X. JOSEPH REVEALS HIMSELF – GENESIS 45:1-15

A. Notice the change in tone of voice of both Joseph and his brothers:

1. Genesis 45:1-13 NASB Then Joseph could not control himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried, “Have everyone go out from me.” So there was no man with him when Joseph made himself known to his brothers. (2) He wept so loudly that the Egyptians heard it, and the household of Pharaoh heard of it. (3) Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed at his presence. (4) Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come closer to me.” And they came closer. And he said, “I am your brother Joseph, whom you sold into
Egypt. (5) “Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. (6) “For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. (7) “God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth, and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. (8) “Now, therefore, it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the

land of
Egypt. (9) “Hurry and go up to my father, and say to him, ‘Thus says your son Joseph, “God has made me lord of all
Egypt; come down to me, do not delay. (10) “You shall live in the

land of
Goshen, and you shall be near me, you and your children and your children’s children and your flocks and your herds and all that you have. (11) “There I will also provide for you, for there are still five years of famine to come, and you and your household and all that you have would be impoverished.”‘ (12) “Behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin see, that it is my mouth which is speaking to you. (13) “Now you must tell my father of all my splendor in
Egypt, and all that you have seen; and you must hurry and bring my father down here.”

2. Genesis 45:15 NASB He kissed all his brothers and wept on them, and afterward his brothers talked with him.

B. There wasn’t very much, if anything at all, humorous in this whole true story. But there is something at the end which I find a little humorous:

CONCLUSION:

A. What lessons did you learn?