Winston Salem church of Christ

How To Be A Real Man – How To Find A Real Man

INTRO:

A.        Know Your Place

Gentlemen, we need to learn to be real men.  Gentlemen, we need to know our place.  If we don’t know our place in life, we will be filled with delusions and we will not be very happy – and the ladies in our lives will not be happy either.  And if they ain’t happy, nobody is happy!  What is our purpose in life?  We might think we are eagles soaring above the fray; or, lions, ruling the pride with strength with long, flowing, golden manes – which takes more imagination for some.  We might even picture ourselves a galloping horse in all its glory, with our little “pony-tails” flowing in the wind.

Gentlemen, I have some bad news for you.  We are not the magnificent horse, or the awe-inspiring lions, nor even the eagles of the world.  Real men are not the hunters, nor are we the hunted.  We are the buzzards.  Think, what do buzzards and vultures do?  They eat what’s left over, they take care of the garbage, and they clean up the disgusting, decaying carcasses left by other animals.

That matches us to a tee, doesn’t it?  When we go out to eat at a cafeteria with our families, we don’t order much.  We eat what the others don’t eat.  The day after a glorious meal, our wives feed us “encore presentations.”  If anything, they are re-runs, and usually not as fresh.  Sure, some men try to talk themselves into liking leftovers, but let’s face it – we can call them what we want, but basically a “left over” is what is pushed aside and not wanted by others.  Some men will bravely say that “leftovers” taste better the second time, to which I say, if they taste better the second time they shouldn’t have been served the first time – apparently they weren’t ready yet!  Yes, like a vulture, we eat what’s leftover…and we better like it!  Or we’ll get leftover, pushed aside and not wanted by others.

Vultures and buzzards are God’s garbage collectors, cleaning up the garbage of the world.  Whose job is it to take out the garbage?  Ours.  How did we get this job?  Like buzzards, we are born to take out the garbage.  Taking out the garbage is our birthright, proudly passed on to our sons. That is our purpose in life.  If your wife is like mine, she thinks it’s her purpose in life to see how much garbage she can put into the garbage can before it spills on to the floor.  Have you seen those garbage dumps that rise into the sky?  They got that idea from my wife!

Last, but not least, it our job to clean up the disgusting carcasses left by animals, especially left by cats – and the only reason we have cats is because of the women in our lives.  We have to clean up what the dog ate outside and waited until he got inside before he threw up – and before he eats it again…you know, for leftovers.  We have to prove our manhood by squishing defenseless little bugs that are ten million times smaller than the women in our lives who jumped on the kitchen counter, screaming, at the sight of that bug.

The lesson is a real man doesn’t try to pretend he is something he is not.  A real man doesn’t seek glory and adulation.  A real does what needs to be done. A real man is responsible. And your lady will love you for it!

            B.        Responsible:

·         Spiritually – to God

·         Maritally – his wife

·         Familially –his family

·         Fiscally – his finances

·         Emotionally – himself

·         Physically – himself

·         Psychologically – himself

·         Socially – his friends

·         Neighborly – people in need

·         Congregationally – God’s people

C.        Q – What makes a male, “a man?”

1.         Is it:

·         How much money he makes?

·         How many muscles he has?

·         How many college degrees?

·         How many girlfriends?

·         How many babies?

·         How he handles revenge?

2.         A father was dying, and knew that his time was near.  He called his son to his side and gave him some last instructions.  Words that he hoped his son would never forget and always live by:

a.         2 Kings 2:2 – “I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man.

3.         In looking at other translations and paraphrases, I find it intriguing how they decided to translate/define/describe “show yourself a man”

·         BBE – Be A Man·         CEV – Be Brave·         GNB – Be Determined·         GW – Be Mature·         NCV – Be A Leader·         HCSB – Be Brave·         Message – Show What You’re Made Of 

D.        Show yourself a man – that command proves several important points:

·         Being a real man is Positive – It is a goal worth reaching.

·         Being a real man is Possible – It is a goal that is reachable.

·         Being a real man is Perceivable – I can understand what this goal is

·         Being a real man is Provable – Others can see my success or failure

·         Being a real man is Purposed – It is not reached accidentally.

E.        Being a real man means being what God designed a man to be in all his relationships – husband, father, friend, Christian.  Being a real man is what every man should want to be; what every father should be teaching his sons to be; what every mother should be teaching their daughters to look for; what every father should be proving their daughters want in a relationship.

F.         What we are going to do is look at the creation and fall of man, walk in the Garden of Eden, and see what a real man looks like – sometimes in the ideal, sometimes in reality, and sometimes by his failures.  Some of these lessons will be learned through the mistakes of Adam.  And some lessons from positive actions.  And finally, some of these through the precepts of God.  We will take the lessons as they are revealed through inspiration.

BODY:

I.          A REAL MAN IS A PARADIGM – Genesis 1:26,27,31

A.        Scriptures:

·         Genesis 1:26a – Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness….·         Genesis 1:27 – God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.·         Genesis 1:31 – God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.  

B.        A man is made in the image of God and is therefore a paradigm for others to behave as God – that is godly.  This behavior in the image of God expands to all aspects of a man’s responsibilities.

C.        Remember ladies, when you are dating and choosing a husband, you are choosing a father for your children.  Do you want your children to emulate the man you are contemplating marrying?  If you are going into the marriage with the concept, “I will change him,” what does that say about the man you are marrying?

II.         A REAL MAN IS A PURPOSED CREATION – Genesis 1:26-28; 2:7

            A.        Scriptures:

·         Genesis 1:26-28 – Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”  (27)  God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.  (28)  God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”·         Genesis 2:7 – Then the LORD God formed man of dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being. 

B.        It is sad that we have to make this point, but man is not a result of an accidental ooze becoming electrified.  Man is created, and because he is created, man has to act how God created him to be and not simply to be a glorified, “evolutionized,” animal.  A “real man” does not act like a woman, a child, or an animal. 

III.        A REAL MAN IS A PROVIDER – Genesis 2:15; 3:17-19

A.        Scriptures:

·         Genesis 2:15 – Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.·         Genesis 3:17b-19 – (17b) …Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.  (18)  “Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field;  (19)  By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return.” 

B.        Today we have deadbeat dads and such that is contrary to what real man is supposed to be.  “Lazy” and “man” and two words that do not belong together unless you are saying that “lazy” and “man” are two words that do not belong together. 

IV.       A REAL MAN IS A PROCLAIMER OF TRUTH – Genesis 2:16-17; 3:1-3

A.        Scriptures:

·         Genesis 2:16-17 – (16) The LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely;  (17)  but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”·         Genesis 3:2-3 – (2)  The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat;  (3)  but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” 

B.        A real man should study the word of God so that he can teach it to his wife and children.  This is not saying that women have no responsibility to study on their own, nor that children should not study.  But too often husbands and fathers leave it up to their wives and the church to do the teaching. 

V.        A REAL MAN IS A PARTNER TO HIS WIFE – Genesis 2:18A.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 2:18 – Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 

B.        The word “helper” means an “ally” and is a word referencing someone strong enough to help since it is used of God Himself. 

C.        The word “suitable” refers to one who is the opposite and therefore capable of completing what is needed. 

VI.       A REAL MAN IS A PRINCE IN HIS HOME – Genesis 2:21-22            A.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 2:21-22 – (21) So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.  (22)  The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.·         Genesis 3:16c -  And he will rule over you.”·         Genesis 3:17 – Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.·         1 Timothy 2:11-13 – (12) A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.  (12)  But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.  (13)  For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. 

B.        We live in a society where it is politically incorrect to teach that a man is the head of the home, and that the woman is to be subjection.  And yet, society apparently has no problem with the woman being the head of the home and the man being in subjection.  We see that constantly by hearing of the woman “jokingly” being referred to as “the boss.” 

VII.      A REAL MAN PROFESSES HIS LOVE – Genesis 2:23A.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 2:23 – The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of
Man.” 

B.        Steve Harvey – “A man who loves you will do the 3 Ps:

1.      Profess – within 6 months you’ll have a title from a man (my girlfriend, love, my fiancée)

2.      Provide – Give you and the kids the money

3.      Protect – No bill collector can call and harass you

4.      One of the 3 isn’t enough

C.        One of the best Biblical examples of this is the “Song of Solomon.” 

D.        This profession of love can come in many forms: dependence; encouragement; comfort; sensual; etc. 

VIII.     A REAL MAN IS PRIORITIZED – Genesis 2:24aA.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 2:24a – For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother…. 

B.        A real man knows where “home” is.  A real man puts his wife and family about his parents and friends. 

IX.       A REAL MAN IS POSSESSIVE – Genesis 2:24bA.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 2:24b – and be joined to his wife;  B.        There is nothing wrong with a little healthy jealousy.  Even God is a jealous God (Exodus 20:5). X.        A REAL MAN IS PASSIONATE – Genesis 2:24cA.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 24c – and they shall become one flesh.·         Genesis 3:16b – Yet your desire will be for your husband,  B.        The Bible approves of the intimate relationship between a husband and wife. 

XI.       A REAL MAN IS PLEDGED – Genesis 2:24cA.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 24c – and they shall become one flesh.·         Matthew 19:6 – “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” 

B.        We live in a society where some subcultures define a man by how many women he has or how many babies he has with different women.1.         “babydaddy” – The father of a woman’s child, used to denote that the father is neither the mother’s husband or boyfriend 

C.        We also live in a society were “no fault” divorce means a man can leave his wife and children for no reason whatsoever. 

XII.      A REAL MAN IS PURE – Genesis 2:25;

A.        Scriptures:

·         Genesis 2:25 – And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.·         Genesis 3:6-7 – When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate.  (7)  Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings. 

B.        Genesis 2:25 is one of the most baffling verses in the whole creation narrative.  And yet coupled with the rest of the story, I have concluded that men (and women for that matter) can only be what God intended when they purify their lives, minds, and hearts so that they can live without shame with their wives. 

XIII.     A REAL MAN IS A PROTECTOR – Genesis 3:6a

A.        Scriptures:

·         Genesis 3:6a – When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her….·         1 Timothy 2:14  And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 

XIV.     A REAL MAN IS PRINCIPLED – Genesis 3:6bA.        Scriptures:·         Genesis 3:6a  – …and he ate.·         Genesis 3:17 – Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.·         1 Timothy 2:14 – And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. 

B.        “The Fall” shows that Adam knew what he was doing, but decided not to stand up for what he believes in.  When we stand up for what we believe in, we will not always be popular – even with our wives – but a real man stands, even when standing alone. 

XV.      A REAL MAN IS A PARADOX

A.        Scriptures:

·         Entire Bible

B.        By paradox I do not mean difficult to understand.  But rather:

·         A Real Man Is a Paradigm that is Not Perfect

·         A Real Man Is a Purposed Creation That Needs Guidance

·         A Real Man Is a Provider But Not Just A Paycheck

·         A Real Man Is a Proclaimer of Truth Still Learning From Others

·         A Real Man Is a Partner to His Wife, but Head of His Wife

·         A Real Man Is a Prince But Not Domineering

·         A Real Man Professes His Love Even When Silent

·         A Real Man Is Prioritized But Not Reclusive

·         A Real Man Is Possessive But Not Possessing

·         A Real Man Is Passionate But Guarded

·         A Real Man Is Pledged But Devoted To God First

·         A Real Man Is Pure Especially When Asking for Forgiveness

·         A Real Man Is A Protector But Never A Bully

·         A Real Man Is Principled But Not Stubborn

CONCLUSION:

A.        Too many “males” today (I refuse to call them “men”) are pariahs, paramours, palsied, puny and paltry examples of what a real man is supposed to be.

B.        1 Corinthians 16:13 – Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.