Winston Salem church of Christ

Growing Old – the Blessings

 

INTRO:

A.                 It’s good to wake up and realize you aren’t dead.  That is my perryphrase of – Ecclesiastes 11:7 – The light is pleasant, and it is good for the eyes to see the sun.  Considering the context, I actually think that is meaning:

1.         Ecclesiastes 11:7-8 – The light is pleasant, and it is good for the eyes to see the sun.  (8)  Indeed, if a man should live many years, let him rejoice in them all, and let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many. Everything that is to come will be futility. 

B.        In preaching this series on growing old I have two fears:

·         That I will be perceived too young to be qualified to speak on growing old.

·         That I will not be perceived too young to be qualified to speak on growing old.

 

C.        Often when focusing on growing old-er, we focus on the challenges.  In this series while still also concentrate on the blessings.  The challenges will come next.  But let’s begin on a positive note:  Growing Old – The Blessings.

 

BODY:

I.          THE BLESSING OF LONG LIFE

A.        Proverbs 20:29 – The glory of young men is their strength, And the honor of old men is their gray hair.

1.         Apparently, most women think this applies only to men!

2.         Having said that, to be fair to “fairer sex,” I present the following:

a.         Illustration:

Paul Harvey told about a lady sometime back who was 103.  Her name was Eva Reitzel.  When asked her formula for living to be a healthy, active 103, she responded in only nine words: “Stay away from doctors – and stay away from men.”

 

B.        Old age a blessing for a good life – Scriptures:

·         Ephesians 6:2-3 – HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),  (3)  SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.·         Proverbs 9:10-11 – The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.  (11)  For by me your days will be multiplied, And years of life will be added to you.·         Proverbs 10:27 – The fear of the LORD prolongs life, But the years of the wicked will be shortened. 

C.        The blessing of long life brings perspective – When I was 37 years old, I wrote the following entitled (edited), “Wrinkles and Gray Hair”

 

Wrinkles and gray hair.  At thirty-one years old, I started seeing wrinkles.  Now at thirty-seven, people gleefully point out my gray hair especially my children.  And for some strange reason, mostly people who are younger than me mention the wrinkles and gray hair.  Have you ever noticed that with you?

 

My face has always bewildered people guessing my age – and I’m sure in other ways too.  Although twenty upon marrying Janet, people still look at the wedding pictures and say I look fourteen.  When twenty-five years old, the phone rang with some pubescent teenager playing a Janet Jackson love song to me – apparently she did not know I was married, and already a father.  At this same age I taught in a Middle school, grades 7-8.  A student asked me what grade I was in.

 

The wrinkles around my eyes, I am told – and tell myself – are laugh lines.  Laughing does bring on wrinkles.  So when I look in the mirror, I should not think sad thoughts, but all the times I laughed, even laughing my particular laugh that brings looks of amusement from those around, and a look of embarrassment from my wife.

 

My forehead, when furrowed, shows many deep wrinkles.  This comes from a particular habit of mine of raising my eyebrows.  These wrinkles tell me something about myself.  They declare to the world one of my personal characteristics.  Shouldn’t we all glory in our own individuality?  But that is easier said, than done.

 

Gray hair in Bible times was glorified – A gray head is a crown of glory; it is found in the way of righteousness (Prov.16:31).  The good news is that having gray hair means . . .  I have some hair!  At least my wife gave me some comfort when I found my first gray hair – she said it was in my bald spot and would fall out!  Thanks, hon . …

 

Having said all that, for you “folliclely challenged” folk, someone said, “Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.”  If that is true, then do yourself a favor and do not comb over your experience.

 

Wrinkles and gray hair teach me something valuable. I have little care for vanity in these thoughts.  My mind is raised beyond vanity to mortality.  When we are young, we feel invincible, we are filled with hope. The older we get, the more foolishness we see in our youth, and the more regrets we have of not fulfilling the dreams of our youth.  I know…thirty-seven is not old in comparison to many others, especially when it comes to wrinkles and gray hair.  But it is the oldest I’ve ever been!

 

In Bible times, you were either young or old. There was no middle age. Melding today’s society, with David’s observation that the average life-span was seventy years (Ps.90:10), and by reason of strength, eighty, then what stage am I in?  I am middle aged!  Averaging the two and using 75 as our guideline, years 1-25 are our first phase, youth.  Years 51-75 would be our last stage, old age.  That leaves the middle phase from 26-50, middle age.  I am feeling older as I type this!

They say, “You are only as old as you feel.”  With me I would change that to, “You are only as old as you act.” As the saying goes, “You are only young once, but you can be immature forever!” The truth is, we are only as old as God allows us to be (Jms.4:13-15).  There is another saying, “Life is too short to . . .” and then people fill in the blank.  Life is just a vapor (Jms.4:14).   If you are young, there is no guarantee you will get old.  If you are middle age, there is no guarantee of tomorrow.  If you are in the final stage of your life, there is no guarantee beyond the present of any future.

 

Often, melancholy sets in when people realize their own mortality.  One wise man said that Christians should get stronger as they get older . . . they’re closer to home and heaven.  So come on wrinkles and gray hair, you remind me of home.

 

D.        Long life brings perspective.

 

II.         THE BLESSINGS OF PERSPECTIVE

A.        Old age brings a perspective to life that the young do not possess, and probably cannot possess.  The only problem is that young people lack the perspective to realize that they lack perspective.  Somewhat redundantly ironic, isn’t it?  Some lessons can only be learned with living.  One saying you will often hear me say is, “Such is life.”  I don’t recall saying that when I was much younger.

 

B.        We are going to look at Ecclesiastes briefly, and I will admit that my perspective on perspective from this book is based upon the perspective that Solomon wrote Ecclesiastes from the perspective of an old man.  I hope you followed that!

 

C.        Ecclesiastes 1:4-11 – (4) A generation goes and a generation comes, But the earth remains forever.  (5)  Also, the sun rises and the sun sets; And hastening to its place it rises there again.  (6)  Blowing toward the south, Then turning toward the north, The wind continues swirling along; And on its circular courses the wind returns.  (7)  All the rivers flow into the sea, Yet the sea is not full. To the place where the rivers flow, There they flow again.  (8)  All things are wearisome; Man is not able to tell it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, Nor is the ear filled with hearing.  (9)  That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done. So there is nothing new under the sun.  (10)  Is there anything of which one might say, “See this, it is new”? Already it has existed for ages Which were before us.  (11)  There is no remembrance of earlier things; And also of the later things which will occur, There will be for them no remembrance Among those who will come later still.

1.         Perspective can bring pessimism or acceptance.  If we allow perspective to bring acceptance there is peace.  Pessimism brings bitterness.

2.         What can proper biblical perspective teach us?

 

D.        Perspective teaches us what can be changed and what cannot be changed.

·         Ecclesiastes 1:15 – What is crooked cannot be straightened and what is lacking cannot be counted. 

E.        Perspective teaches us to enjoy life’s little blessings.

·         Ecclesiastes 2:24 – There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and tell himself that his labor is good. This also I have seen that it is from the hand of God. 

F.                 Perspective teaches us that everything has a place and time

·         Ecclesiastes 3:1 – There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven– 

G.                Perspective teaches us that life is terminal

·         Ecclesiastes 3:19 – For the fate of the sons of men and the fate of beasts is the same. As one dies so dies the other; indeed, they all have the same breath and there is no advantage for man over beast, for all is vanity. 

H.                Perspective teaches us the futility of “playing games”

·         Ecclesiastes 4:4 – I have seen that every labor and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry between a man and his neighbor. This too is vanity and striving after wind. 

I.                    Perspective teaches us life is not fair

·         Ecclesiastes 5:8 – If you see oppression of the poor and denial of justice and righteousness in the province, do not be shocked at the sight; for one official watches over another official, and there are higher officials over them. 

J.                  Perspective teaches us money cannot satisfy

·         Ecclesiastes 5:10 – He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves abundance with its income. This too is vanity. 

K.                 We could go on and on.  The point is simple but sublime.  Some lessons are only learned as we get older.  And as we grow older we learn, hopefully, that those lessons are not “personal” but simply “factual.”  Most of the above lessons came from Solomon’s observations and disappointments.  Most of the disappointments come from mistakes we have made or mistakes we have seen made by others.  As Rita Mae Brown said, “Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment.”  In the end, we are responsible for our perspective.  Old age can bring a perspective not only of the world, but of ourselves as well.  And just as above, we can become bitter or accepting.  For example, often we focus on the infirmities of age.  Here is a different perspective in poetic form.  I do not know the person who wrote this, but I can guarantee you it was written by someone older:

 

Yes, I may walk a little slower

and old they may call me

But I look a little longer

at each dawn that breaks for me

I hear a little better

all the sounds a day can hold

I love a whole lot stronger

all the worldly births I see unfold

 

I see a little clearer

what the world holds out to me

I feel a whole lot deeper

for another’s misery

I dream a lot more often

of days that long have past

I acknowledge precious time

that ticks away so fast

 

I hold a great deal tighter

to loving friend’s embraces

And oh, how I cherish laughing children

with life’s smudges on their faces

Yes, I may walk a little slower

and old they may call me

But do you know, I see, I hear, and I love

much better than that young girl

I used to be.  Bobbie Soutar.

 

M.        Why does long life bring perspective?  I would like to suggest at least two reasons. 

1.         Reason #1 – The longer we live, the more we perceive how little control we have in life.  Young age is spent trying to control, trying to manipulate and force actions, thoughts, and ways on others and life.  Old age realizes how little in life they control.  Perspective teaches us our limitations.

·         Ecclesiastes 7:23 – I tested all this with wisdom, and I said, “I will be wise,” but it was far from me.·         Ecclesiastes 8:16-17 – When I gave my heart to know wisdom and to see the task which has been done on the earth (even though one should never sleep day or night),  (17)  and I saw every work of God, I concluded that man cannot discover the work which has been done under the sun. Even though man should seek laboriously, he will not discover; and though the wise man should say, “I know,” he cannot discover.

2.         Reason #2 – The longer we live, the more we perceive how little time we have left.  

·         Ecclesiastes 11:10 – So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting.

3.         To illustrate both reasons let’s look at an expanded version of the Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world As it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right If I surrender to His Will; So that I may be reasonably happy in this life And supremely happy with Him Forever and ever in the next.  

N.        Perspective brings wisdom

 

III.        THE BLESSINGS OF WISDOM

A.        Although perception and wisdom are closely related, to me the difference between perspective and wisdom is that perception is how I see life; wisdom is how I act in life.  The Bible not only contains a category of books called “Wisdom Books” but is itself a Book of Wisdom.  The word wisdom is found 216 times, wise is found 177 times equally 393 times.

·         Psalm 90:12 – So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom. 

B.        Old age brings wisdom…or at least it should.  None of us want to reach old age and be like the old employee at a job who had one year of experience twenty times.  Time and time again, the young are commended to pursue wisdom.  The older generation should have already received it, and should keep receiving it.  That is one of the keys of being wise.  You are never too wise to become wiser.  Older people should have the blessing of realizing that.

 

C.        Job 12:12 – “Wisdom is with aged men, With long life is understanding. 

D.        Why?  Why does old age bring wisdom?  I want to look at three definitions and see if we can come to a conclusion:

·         accumulated knowledge or erudition or enlightenment

·         the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight

·         ability to apply knowledge or experience or understanding or common sense and insight

1.   From these definitions we learn that wisdom takes time and practice.  I would like to suggest the most of the wisdom that comes from old age comes from mistakes.  The young have not had time to make enough mistakes to learn from this. 

 

 

IV.       WISDOM BRINGS RESPONSIBILITIES

A.        In studying perspective, our focus was on the book of Ecclesiastes.  In studying wisdom, our focus will switch to the book of Proverbs.

 

B.        Let’s stop for a second and remember that we are discussing the blessings of old age because I am about to discuss responsibilities.  Being responsible for something is a blessing and not a burden.  There is a missing word in the bible…at least the way that some people live.  It is the word “retire.”  Some older people retire.  I’ve actually heard an older lady say that she would no longer teach the children’s class because her children grew up.

 

C.        Not all young are foolish and not all old are wise.  So as we go over the next material, for the young I want you to understand that I am hopefully describing the older generation and you should listen to them.  But for the older generation, it is a challenge too.  Wisdom is a blessing of old change, but it is also a responsibility.  So for the older generation, do a self-check by asking two questions:

1.         Do I fit the description of the wise?

2.         Am I fulfilling the responsibilities of the wise?

 

D.        The Wise Live Wisely

·         Proverbs 14:16 – A wise man is cautious and turns away from evil, But a fool is arrogant and careless.

o                   One of the points later on in this lesson is that the older generation has the blessing of setting good examples.  While it might be needless to say, I will say it nonetheless.  Before one can have the blessing of being a good example, one has to first be a good example.

 

E.        The Wise Gain More Wisdom

·         Proverbs 9:9 – Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser, Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning. 

·         Proverbs 10:8 – The wise of heart will receive commands, But a babbling fool will be ruined. 

·         Proverbs 12:15 – The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. 

·         Proverbs 1:5 – A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, 

·         Proverbs 3:7 – Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. 

1.   No one should ever get to the point where they think they are wise enough.  Such a thought is the antithesis of wisdom.

·         Proverbs 11:2  When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom. 

F.         The Wise Gain More Knowledge

·         Proverbs 14:6 – A scoffer seeks wisdom and finds none, But knowledge is easy to one who has understanding. 

·         Proverbs 18:15 – The mind of the prudent acquires knowledge, And the ear of the wise seeks knowledge. 

H.        The Wise Teach Knowledge

·         Proverbs 15:7 – The lips of the wise spread knowledge, But the hearts of fools are not so. 

I.          The Wise Teach Wisdom

 

·         Proverbs 5:1 – My son, give attention to my wisdom, Incline your ear to my understanding; 

·         Proverbs 10:31 – The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, But the perverted tongue will be cut out. 

·         Proverbs 12:18 – There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing. 

·         Proverbs 13:14 – The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, To turn aside from the snares of death. 

J.         The Wise Teach Wisely

·         Proverbs 15:2 – The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, But the mouth of fools spouts folly. 

·         Proverbs 16:14 – The fury of a king is like messengers of death, But a wise man will appease it. 

·         Proverbs 16:21 – The wise in heart will be called understanding, And sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness. 

·         Proverbs 16:23 – The heart of the wise instructs his mouth And adds persuasiveness to his lips. 

1.         Many older people are known for their bluntness which can be very constructive. However there is a difference in having wisdom and giving wisdom.

 

 

K.        The Wise Respect Wisdom

 

·         Proverbs 8:11 – “For wisdom is better than jewels; And all desirable things cannot compare with her. 

·         Proverbs 9:8 – Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you.

•  
  •  
    • [The wise can be wrong]

 

·         Proverbs 16:16 – How much better it is to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen above silver.1.   This is said by the one of the richest men to ever live and wisest man on earth.  

L.         The Wise Are Respected for their Wisdom

·         Proverbs 3:35  The wise will inherit honor, But fools display dishonor. 

M.        The Responsibilities of Wisdom brings Respect

1.         Illustration:

A group of older people were dining at a restaurant.  One of them said it would be nice if you could turn back the clock and live your life over.  “Well, you know what I would like?”  said one of them.  “I’d like to be eighteen years old again but to know what I know now.”  At this point a waitress who had been clearing the table stopped and said, “I’m eighteen.  What is it you know?”

a.         Our young people, even young people not ours, need the benefit of older people’s experience.

 

IV.       THE BLESSING OF RESPECT

A.        Scriptures:

1.         Lev 19:31-32  ‘Do not turn to mediums or spiritists; do not seek them out to be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.  (32)  ‘You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the LORD.

a.         I included both verses because I think there is a contrast between who and who not to seek for wisdom.

 

B.        In connection to respecting the elderly, I would like to give two warnings

1.         Respect Has to Be Earned – If old age brings foolishness and cynicism, then foolishness and cynicism bring ridicule.  If old age brings wisdom, then wisdom brings respect.

a.         Job 32:1-10 – Then these three men ceased answering Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes.  (2)  But the anger of Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram burned; against Job his anger burned because he justified himself before God.  (3)  And his anger burned against his three friends because they had found no answer, and yet had condemned Job.  (4)  Now Elihu had waited to speak to Job because they were years older than he.  (5)  And when Elihu saw that there was no answer in the mouth of the three men his anger burned.  (6)  So Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite spoke out and said, “I am young in years and you are old; Therefore I was shy and afraid to tell you what I think.  (7)  “I thought age should speak, And increased years should teach wisdom.  (8)  “But it is a spirit in man, And the breath of the Almighty gives them understanding.  (9)  “The abundant in years may not be wise, Nor may elders understand justice.  (10)  “So I say, ‘Listen to me, I too will tell what I think.’

b.         At the end of the book of Job, God rebuked older men, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar.

·         Job 42:7 – It came about after the LORD had spoken these words to Job, that the LORD said to Eliphaz the Temanite, “My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right as My servant Job has.

c.         God did not rebuke the younger Elihu.

2.         Respect for the Elderly is Not Respected in Our Society – We do not live in a society of respect for the elderly and their wisdom.  That being our culture, we Christians who live a counter-cultural life need to practice respect for the elderly and teach that respect to our children.

 

C.        With a long life, correct perspective, godly wisdom, and respect from the young, the older generation has one more blessing – the blessing of setting good examples.

 

V.        THE BLESSING OF A GOOD EXAMPLE

A.        Psa 71:17-18  O God, You have taught me from my youth, And I still declare Your wondrous deeds.  (18)  And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me, Until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to all who are to come. 

B.        The Bible is filled with the elderly being good examples (source unknown):

1.         Moses, at the age of 120 (note the vigor of the speeches in Deuteronomy) – Deut 34:7

2.         Joshua, as he addressed the elders of
Israel (note his conviction) – Josh 24:15

3.         Barzillai, the Gileadite (note his gracious hospitality at age eighty) – 2Sa 19:31-38

4.         Dorcas, who helped the poor and widows – Ac 9:36-39

5.         The graceful manner in which Paul faced death – 2Ti 4:6-8, 16-18

6.         Peter aged gracefully…

a.         Becoming an elder – 1 Peter 5:1-2b.         Remaining diligent as death approached – 2 Peter 1:13-15c.         Forgiving toward those who rightly rebuked him – 2 Peter 3:15; cf. Gal. 2:11

C.        Rosie – She could hardly see or hear and couldn’t sing, but attended every service.  She walked with a walker.  After I would lead singing, I would go see her, and she always spoke of how she loved to see me waving my hand.  She still brings a smile to my face.

 

D.        Roy and Mattie Weliever unofficially adopted me as their son.  They had lost one of their sons, and I being his age, and a 20-year-old gospel preacher, found a home away from home.  Roy Weliever died.  His last few years were filled with the agony of this life.  He had had a few back surgeries, and finally a stroke, which was also the stroke of sin caused by man’s original disobedience.  I was prohibited from attending the funeral because Mattie did not know where I lived.  I would have gone.  When she told me, my first reaction was natural…sadness.  Later, I questioned myself what her reaction would have been if my first reaction was not natural…but spiritual.  What if I would have been happy for
Roy, instead of sad for Mattie?  What if I had said, “That’s wonderful!”

 

E.        Miss Ellar – Miss Ellar never married.  She spent her life taking care of her parents.  Memories of her consist of an eighty year old woman working a garden; walking across the driveway to every service, even when she wobbled from dizziness; and sitting on her porch swing, singing.  To me, two of the greatest sounds God ever created were little babies singing to God, and aged women singing spiritual songs.

 

            F.         Burney and Barbara Levitt

1.         Illustration: Cemetery retirement – A newspaper did a story on a couple about their volunteer work in the community.  Mary and John Hunter make dolls from “junk yarn” donated by a local knitting mill.  They teach crafts at schools, community centers, and nursing homes.  The Hunters are active senior citizens, according the report.

What was interesting to me was the fact that they remain active and work even harder than before they `”retired.”  Too often, people have this view of Americanized retirement where they think they are no longer to serve society.  Mrs. Hunter said, “We’re not retired.  When I retire, I want to be dead.”

            a.         What a great attitude for Christians!

 

G.        Miss Lou

 

 

H.        JESUS LOVES ME

Jesus loves me, this I know,
Though my hair is white as snow.
Though my sight is growing dim,
Still He bids me trust in Him.

(CHORUS)
YES, JESUS LOVES ME… YES, JESUS
LOVES ME…
YES, JESUS LOVES ME FOR THE BIBLE
TELLS ME SO.

Though my steps are oh, so slow,
With my hand in His I’ll go.
On through life, let come what may,
He’ll be there to lead the way.

(CHORUS)

Though I am no longer young,
I have much which He’s begun.
Let me serve Christ with a smile,
Go with others the extra mile.

(CHORUS)

When the nights are dark and long,
In my heart He puts a song.
Telling me in words so clear,
“Have no fear, for I am near.”

(CHORUS)

When my work on earth is done,
And life’s victories have been won.
He will take me home above,
Then I’ll understand His love.

(CHORUS)

I love Jesus, does he know?
Have I ever told Him so?
Jesus loves to hear me say,
That I love Him every day.

 

(CHORUS)

I.          All the above points have lead into each other.  Long live leads to perspective which leads to wisdom which leads to respect which leads to being a good example.  My last point has no connection whatsoever with the above.  But once you see it, I know that you will agree.

 

VI.       THE BLESSING OF GRANDCHILDREN

A.        Pro 17:6a – Grandchildren are the crown of old men….